Day 4: Morphing maladies

This weird thing on my food that I mentioned the other day, which is "either a varicose vein or a cyst" (the official and oh-so-technical diagnosis) is morphing. I wasn't going to write about this but it's just too strange not to mention it. It was the size of a small marble, only not quite so tall, like as if a marble was embedded half way under my skin on the top of my ankle. It was a bit mushy feeling, why the doctor thought it was a vein. It was also a bit sore, and one day swelled up to the size of a large marble, sending me to the nurses' phone line ... uber freaky! The swelling went back down almost immediately. This all started last September. Today I noticed it's half the size that it was. It was about 2 mm in diameter (although I didn't think to measure it). Now it's 1 mm across. Who'da thunk it? After only 3.5 days in the torture chamber! Whoo hoo. But it's also gotten harder, so now I know it's probably definitely a cyst. Suddenly I can't wear any shoes that lace up at the ankle. I'll keep you posted.

Today was easier
I don't feel like I'm sitting on my hands nearly as much. I'm feeling pretty copacetic right now. Still feeling a bit restless at night though.

Hydration
I'm trying really hard to get my hydration level up, which is difficult because I have this other diagnosis, called "overactive bladder." Now, just to be straight, I'm not sure if that's for real or just an attempt by Big Pharma to empty my pockets by putting me on some stupid drug. And I tried their drug many years ago and did it work? Nope. That's one of the reasons though that a) I'm probably a bit dehydrated in the first place, as I don't like drinking a lot of liquids (although I don't know whether to exactly believe the Tanita scale or not) and b) it's hard for me to get hydrated -- I have to live too, and somewhere besides the bathroom. One of my beloved fellow bloggers, Sarah, used to write about eating a whole giant watermelon in one sitting. There's just no way I could possibly do that. I had a small one today, and that's enough in the liquids department.

More raw food heresy
The notion that everyone should go on a raw food diet I actually think is a teensy bit preposterous. It ain't gonna happen in my lifetime, or in my grandkids' grandkids' grandkids' lifetime either. Food is an integral part of culture, tightly interwoven with language and social traditions; it all developed together according to the climate, geography, etc. To remove food from that context is a psychologically difficult thing to do on multiple levels. You are suddenly not participating in the same way as others. Even if you don't intend it, others may perceive you differently. To feel like an outsider is not necessarily good for the psyche. Our psyche works with our bodies to produce health. Disrupting this network between the mind/body/society (we are not just individuals, after all) can itself be harmful to the health, so I don't think it's nearly as simple as many raw food theorists make it out to be.

I obviously do think a raw food diet is or can be very healthy on a physical level -- that's why I'm doing it, after all -- but I have also seen it manifest as obsessive thinking and behavior in a number of people; either as obsession with one's own behavior or obsession with trying to change and analyze others.

A freind of mine killed himself, in part because of an inability to "stay raw". Heartbreaking! I miss him a lot. I knew another raw fooder who told me she couldn't have compassion for her mother anymore, who had severe diabetes, because her mother preferred to eat her cake and ice cream at this stage in her life than to give it up. All I can say about that is, if I ever get to a place in life where I don't have compassion for my mother, just shoot me, please!

I believe that people are entitled to make their own decisions, and some of the obsessing over food that I have seen can literally spiral and take a person down. It's gotten to me a lot too, and, in fact, has steered me away from a raw food diet on many occasion. It's taken me many years and many bouts of illness to get where I am, so I'm not going to condemn anyone for choosing whatever they choose, as long as they are accepting of my choices.

Health is about the mind body connection. Just because someone is eating pepperoni pizza doesn't mean much to me, for they may be more connected on a different level. Furthermore, I don't want to ostracise myself and go live away from "normal" people like some raw fooders do. Some of my fave people in the world love oily curries, pepperoni pizza, beer and cigarettes, and, guess what? I love them for who they are deep down, "imperfections" and all (a.k.a. being human), not for their "perfections."

"Before" shots
In the long-standing tradition of "before" shots, I did nothing special for these photos and really tried not to smile, so I can look all that much better a few months from now.



For the record, I'm no beach babe, but I'm not doing this to lose weight or any of those coveted prizes. I'm just posting these photos because I think people are genuinely interested in what the effects of this diet are.

Food Today:
Breakfast: Juice of 6 grapefruits (2.5 cups)
Lunch: 2 mangoes, 2 d'anjou pears (not quite ripe, too starchy)
Afternoon (snack?): smoothie of 6 oz raspberries, 6 oz blueberries, 6 oz red seedless grapes
Dinner: Smoothie of 6.25 oz bananas (2), 5.25 oz asian pear (1), 12.5 oz spinach (enough to fill a small microwave oven!); then 1 oz of brazil nuts.

Calories: 1024
Carbohydrates: 91%
Protein: 6%
Fat: 3%

Exercise:
1 hour weight training, then some stretches
Sauna (ok, that's not exercise, but I did it at the gym)
Almost fell asleep in the car on the way home, I was sooooo relaxed.

Sleep: Couldn't really go to sleep for a few hours. I probably got 7.5 hours. Could have slept more but had to take the kids to their indoctrination bright and early (i.e. school).

Temperature: 98.1 F
Inspired by Steve Pavlina (check out his January, 2008 raw food experiment and follow-up posts), I decided to take my temperature today. This guy even tracked his blood sugar from day to day. I'd be interested to do that, but I can't afford the device. Sorry kids.